The book that I got to read but am not reading

Anyone who knows anything about me knows that I'm a library freak. F.R.E.A.K. I will devour anything that remotely looks interesting as I walk blissfully up and down the cherished book stacks of my local library.

On my latest venture to the avenue of books I happened to walk past this charmer and the title caught my attention: The Yes Factor.

Thought number 1: What am I saying yes to?

Thought number 2: Will this allow me to indulge in a guilt free shoe shopping excursion?

Then I looked at the subtitle: Get What You Want. Say What You Mean. The Secrets of Persuasive Communication.

"Oh!" I thought. Tantalizing! Get what you want, eh? (The possibilities are endless!) Say what you mean, eh? ("Clean your room or you'll be grounded until your 35!") The secrets of persuasive communication...really? I hoped on some level that the techniques contained therein would involve mind control so I picked it up and checked it out.

And haven't touched it since.

Ok, so I flipped through it. Looked at it. Gave it the cursory once over. The bottom line is...I didn't spend much time on it. But I did see that it's got chapters on body language, the power of gestures, and, my at-a-glance favorite, "Gender Differences in Communication". I couldn't make it past the first couple of pages, though. I need something gripping, like..mind control techniques. No mind control techniques were listed in the table of contents. I checked.

Much of what was listed I had already picked up in my Speech class a couple of years back. A few years in management has given me many of the listed techniques already (and a few others I'd have to charge you for divulging).

For the moment I'm abandoning this book, relegating it to the bedside table until I'm either a. really bored or b. taking it back to the library. But I feel like a book traitor. I'm sorry Ms. Reiman. If you write a book on mind control I promise to read it cover to cover in one sitting. Cross my heart and hope to die. May you make me stick a needle in my eye.

Now, after proofing this post I suddenly realized that this turned into a book review and I didn't mean for that to happen at all. I'm sure Ms. Reiman's book is very good. But now I feel bad. So I promise to read a whole chapter to make up for the guilt I feel for no longer wanting to read the book. Maybe there are hidden mind controls at work here after all.

A tangled mess

I don't mean to complain. Really, I don't. Because I know that in the grand scheme of things, my girls and I have it well off. We all have long, straight, glossy hair that we pull up, wear down, braid, pony tail, wrap in a bun, pig tail and, in those rare moments, wrap into those tight buns à la Princess Leia. We aren't bound by the hair obligations of some (think hot combs and tight, envy inducing curls) who spend countless hours and dollars to make their locks look lavish. We need conditioner, a comb and a hairbrush and we are set.

Today my husband announced that Abby had a knot in her hair that he couldn't get out. Comb in hand, I stepped up to the plate. This was my domain...and it would take a woman, a mom, to get that knot out.

I sized it up. It was a big one alright. A knot ostensibly born out of many hours spent in a pool yesterday and a complete avoidance of a hair comb today. (Don't judge me.) Fearless, I took to the challenge like a garden hose to a forest fire. Yep, I had a better chance of getting into Fort Knox than untangling that knot. I spent an hour and a half in a fruitless, desperate attempt to untangle that matted mess. Finally, after all the begging and pleading (some mine, some Abby's) I realized that I had been beat. Then I did what only a desperate mother can possibly do at that point. I cut it out.

I don't know exactly how much hair was in that matted little ball but it was a lot. Thank goodness the knot stemmed from a section underneath the top layers of hair so the cut bits should go unnoticed. Now I'm going to go into a corner and soothe my bruised ego...and then I'm going to check to see if my request for Chris Rock's Good Hair has come into the library yet.

I need a feather duster in here

*cough cough*
Wow, look at the dust bunnies in this place! I can't believe it's been so long since I've last posted.
Ok, that's a lie. Of course it's been so long. I've been crazy busy with work and have otherwise been too exhausted to do anything else but curl into a ball and weep uncontrollably. (This statement is a slight exaggeration...but only slightly.)
So here I am. For a moment or two...I'm not sure. But I will say "Hello Lou!" to the guy who got me thinking about this place again.
I still need that feather duster if you have one handy...