My most precious Christmas present. Ever.

Happy Birthday Abigail! My girl is 6 years old today!
(Note: The previous sentence originally read "My baby is 6 years old today" but at the request of the Birthday Girl I have changed baby to girl. *sniff sniff*)


A Gift From Emily

Christmas Haiku
merry bells jingle
elves wrapping green presents, shine
red holly berries
By Emily




Trying to shake like a dog in the shower when you are out of clean towels is not an effective way to dry off. Neither is shaking your groove thang.


The Pristine Machine

I need a budding entrepreneur who has the capabilities of creating a machine for me. Here's the deal: I'll give you the idea, you give me the finished product. Since I've come up with the idea I'll split the deal 60/40. That's only fair, isn't it?

The "Pristine Machine" will be my greatest gift to humanity (outside the obvious gift of my two girls who will continue to contribute to society as functioning adults). This machine will make roughed up snow pristine again so it looks as though it's just fallen and untouched by the mailman, playing children and running dogs. It will also have the capability of ensuring that shoveled snow looks perfect as it will do it for you but only if you upgrade your model.

Any takers?


Spotted on the back of my husband's shampoo bottle: "Has a Fresh Clean Masculine Scent"

When I think of a masculine scent I generally don't associate 'fresh' and 'clean' with that term. Usually it's 'sweaty' and 'stinky'.
Disclaimer: this does not apply to my husband, who in fact does smell fresh and clean. Especially once he's out of the shower.


I'm a fish killer

I didn't mean to kill the fish, really I didn't. After all, who would intentionally do such a thing this time of the year?

Apparently me. Okay, so it wasn't intentional. But I did know the risks. And so I chose to ride on the wild side. I chose to be bold, to throw caution to the wind.

As a result, our last few fish went belly up... literally. What, pray tell, did I do that was so egregious that it ended the lives of our three little swimmers?

I finally cleaned out the fish tank. And the shock of it killed them. *sniff*

Now then... who's up to a trip to the pet store?


Tee Hee!

After my last bit of news I felt I should liven things up around here a bit.


I think I'm going to hyperventilate.
I just checked my school email to see if my final in nutrition had been graded yet (I took it this morning at 9 a.m.) and there it was, an email from my instructor simply titled "final grade".
*deep breath*
I had dreaded this moment ever since I handed in my test. I barely studied, really. If I totally bombed--and I was pretty sure that I had--then it would strictly be my fault for not putting as much study time into it as I should have (there was that annoying job, home and family that was always getting in the way). I was annoyed that we were testing two chapters (vitamins & minerals) that we had already tested on. Come on, already! Don't these people know about the "data dump"?! Cram everything into your head for the test then dump it out for the next round of information? (Disclaimer: this theory should never be practiced by those entering the field of oh, say, neurosurgery.) I was feeling less than confident about my final.
But I got an 83.
My final score for the class? N I N E T Y T W O B A B Y ! ! ! !
And now, the happy dance!!!
I may actually pull off a 4.0!


Keeping up with the Kringles

I'm not going to even try to do it this year. I can't afford it.

What on earth am I referring to, you ask?

I'm referring to spending outrageous amounts of money on Christmas cards. Yes, those expensive Christmas cards, either with foil or without, with happy holiday designs on them that draw you in and whisper loudly, "Show your friends and family how you REALLY like them with such an elaborate card such as myself! Ten in a package!"

You know what speaks to me this year? $2.49. Yep, that's right. Two dollars and forty nine cents. Plus tax. For 18 cards.

If your lucky I might put a candy cane sticker on the back of the envelope, a la Hallmark (when you care enough to send the best you can afford). If your really lucky I'll include recent school pictures of the girls. If you totally rate I'll even through in a few X's and O's.

I didn't purposely set out to be cheap this year. Last year I bought really cute (cheap) holiday cards with funny cartoons of reindeer and snowmen. But let's be honest here: I send you my Christmas card. You tape it on your wall, or arrange it in a fancy thingamabober that you bust out once a year and then you throw my card away as soon as the holiday lights get taken down and stored in the basement. I don't blame you for throwing it away but you do. That's money people! Do you realize how much money we throw away each year?

Think about pricey wrapping paper. You spend a ton of money on paper that gets ripped apart! In mere seconds! (My best friend's sister, Heather, is notorious for spending 20 minutes carefully unwrapping each present that she's ever received in her lifetime. She's the exception, not the rule. Heather spends more time doing this than her sister Jennipher does putting on makeup... and that's saying a lot!) One blogger posted that we spend 2.7 billion dollars annually on wrapping paper and the like (bows, ribbons, etc.). I don't have any idea if that figure is accurate but can you imagine??? Spending all that money just to ball it up and pop it into the trash! (Side note: If you are in the habit of throwing money away mindlessly please contact me via email and I'll be happy to provide you with my home address. I accept cash, personal check with valid i.d. and all major credit cards.)

Here's an idea. Let's move away from the commercialization of Christmas and remember what fostered this holiday in the first place. You don't have to a Christian to enjoy spreading goodwill toward others. Here's another idea... bake a batch of cookies, pop some into a tin and carry it with you on a trip to the mall. Hand it to the stranger who opens the door for you or the cashier who rings up your purchases. I did this one year and it was one of the most rewarding things I've ever done. You have the power to make a difference in someone's life. Do that a few times and the Kringles will have one heck of a time keeping up with you!


The weather outside is frightful

and working with it is a nightmare.

The "weather event" that the Midwest went through yesterday caused a lot of problems for a number of states, and two airplanes slid off of a runway and a taxiway. Thank goodness no one was hurt in those mishaps.

From an operational standpoint, trying to keep an airline functioning in that type of weather environment is next to impossible. For example, we were trying to get a couple of airplanes out of Chicago O'Hare (ORD) for hours. We were completely at Mother Nature's mercy and she wasn't inclined to be merciful. (Maybe she was hormonal?) At any rate, for a long time ORD was reporting moderate freezing rain at the airport. We can't take off in moderate freezing rain. If it's reported light, then yes, we can take off. But that's only if we meet our "holdover" times for the anti-ice protection that the airplanes are doused in before they leave the gate. If we can't get in the air before the time limit on that protection expires we have to go back to the gate to get squirted down again. And then wait in line to take off again. Notice the never ending cycle? A day like yesterday cripples an airline and the only way to recover from it is to stay away from the cities that are causing problems and this equates to cancellations. We canceled a total of 28 flights yesterday. Had it been a weekday we would have canceled far more (we have a reduced schedule on Saturdays).

I have to go back in to work again today.
More icy fun is on the horizon.
Please send warm thoughts.