8.09.2007

Because I care: A Men's Guide to Woman-speak

Fine:

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes:

If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing:

This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

Go Ahead:

This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

Loud Sigh:

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

That's Okay:

This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks:

A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

Whatever:

Is a women's way of saying Eff You!

Don't worry about it, I got it:

Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.

1 comment:

Patty O said...

Here's a quote you might like:

"Each time a woman starts crying, a silent timer starts to tick inside a man's head. As each second passes, the man begins to wonder when it's safe to go back to playing video games." -Maddox

Not that I've ever thought this at all. Not me!