The letter that never came

Nearly a week ago I detailed my hunt for the mailman, awaiting a letter I had hoped he would be bringing to my mailbox.

It's official. It's not coming.

I have been on parental pins and needles since the end of the school year. Abby was tested for gifted but didn't score high enough to be invited into the program. When I learned of the testing I told myself that her getting in wasn't overly important to me, but it would be really cool if Abby could ride the bus across town with Emily, who is in the gifted program, where they could see each other in the halls at school. But as each day passed and a letter from the school district failed to arrive that outlook morphed into something else, and it was a far cry from wanting to strengthen a sisterly bond. I wanted her in that program. I wanted her to have the same opportunities available to her that were available to her sister. In hushed voices I was constantly told by teachers and aides how smart Abby was, how talented her artwork was. With Emily in gifted I thought for sure Abby was a shoe-in. Imagine, both of my girls in the gifted program. Well, keep imagining.

I feel like I've failed Abby. As if I didn't do enough for her. She has no idea of the drama that her parents are feeling about her education. Emily has been extremely lucky thus far to have fantastic teachers. Abby had an amazing kindergarten teacher, and it would be my dream to have that teacher throughout her academic career. Or Mocha Momma (I'm not picky). I just want my daughter to have the best.